Let's Talk About ABC Date Night

Raise your hand if you've ever been in a rut with date night.

*immediately puts hand HIGH in the air*

Date night ruts are REAL and let's be honest- they SUCK. A date night rut is where you and your spouse are going on dates, but you keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again.

You go to the same few restaurants followed by the same walk at the same park or stop by the same store on the way home. For us, it was going to dinner at one of our few favorite spots followed by a leisurely lap around Target for diapers and random little things.

Don't get me wrong, we had a great time and it was always a lot of fun, but something was missing. Everybody talks about date nights like they're this magical time where you connect and fall in love with each other all over again, but it just wasn't like that for us.

Our boys are still pretty young so our date nights are very sporadic. Sometimes we can get one in every week of the month and other times it's closer to once a month. No matter how often you get to have your date nights, there can be a lot of pressure surrounding your date because you want it to be fulfilling and fun and full of connection.

But it's also really hard to come up with date ideas, am I right?

I get it. You just managed to come up with three meals a day for a full week, you've folded all of the laundry (or if you're like us it's sitting in a basket on the floor begging to be folded), and you've been trying to tidy the house.

You have a LOT going on and -honestly- coming up with an extra special idea for date night sounds kind of exhausting, doesn't it?

First of all, if you answered yes, I want to give you the biggest hug and reassure you that you're not doing anything wrong. You're not a bad spouse for saying that and it doesn't mean that you love your spouse any less because you feel this task to be daunting. If anything, it makes you normal! We were in the EXACT same boat. We felt this dread of coming up with a new idea, but also realized that this form of "rut dating" wasn't doing us any favors. We were tired of doing the same thing all of the time and it just seemed boring.

So we decided to make a change.

Life is too short to have boring dates and we no longer wanted to pour into this routine if it wasn't truly serving us. We had a few different conversations about it and we both started trying to come up with new date night ideas until it hit. . .

What if we did a special date for every letter of the alphabet?

I immediately took the idea to Alex and as soon as I shared the idea with him, he was all in (he likes a challenge) and he even asked if he could plan our first "ABC Date Night."

Here's How It Works:

- We go in order from A to Z and take turns planning out the date nights. Alex started with "A" so I followed up with "B" and he did "C," etc. (Don't leave the planning all on one person. Share the load and take turns!)

- It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. The idea is to be as creative with your letter as possible.

- Figure out if you want to keep the other person informed or if you want to make it a surprise. We usually go for the element of surprise unless something is needed in advance like signing a waiver, leaving work early, or something along those lines.

- We have a "no phone" policy during date nights and our phone use is strictly reserved for photo or video purposes. So remember to set those aside and really lean into connecting with one another as much as possible.

- You don't always have to leave the house and you don't always have to have childcare. There have been a handful of date nights where we will try to include the kids, but if we go this route then we usually have something planned for just the two of us once they go down for bed.

"ABC Date Night" has been really pivotal for our relationship and now we look forward to date night in a way that we never have before. It's getting us out of our box of comfort and pushing us to try new things together. We're more adventurous and open-minded than we used to be and it's honestly very refreshing.

We come back from date nights with a big smile, a lot of laughs, and full hearts. We anticipate the next letter and are eager to see what the other person can come up with.

If you're feeling in a date night rut, I highly encourage you to give this a try! It just may be the thing you need to have a more fulfilling relationship with your spouse.

Please, if you like this idea, STEAL IT!

Our goal in sharing is to help you have a strong and healthy relationship. If you're looking for ideas on how to get started, check out my Instagram where you'll find a plethora of reels on all of the "ABC Date Night" ideas we've done so far.

I encourage you to send this to your spouse so you can chat about it and start this weekend! Cheering you, friends!

Until next time,

SB