I'm a Spontaneous Mom, but I Need a Schedule and This Routine Saved Me.

Hey mama. I have a feeling you're a little overwhelmed. I mean understandably so- there's so much to do and not nearly enough time to do it all, am I right?

I mean the dishes, the laundry, the intentional play time with your kids, connecting with your spouse, cleaning the house, taking time for yourself, and maybe you even have work on top of all that?

Whewwww. It's A LOT.

But I promise you- you are not alone. Tell me if any of this sounds familiar or resonates with you.

I'm tired of wearing leggings, but I also don't want to get dressed up or do my make up every day.

I literally get so overwhelmed with cleaning my house because I can't find a system in which to get it all done. It's been WEEKS since I cleaned that bathroom or vacuumed a section of my house.

I want to intentionally play with my kids and take them on fun adventures each week, but then I feel guilty because there's so much I need to be doing at home and when I'm doing the things around the home, I feel guilty because I'm not spending enough time with my kids.

Okay, if any of that resonated with you then do me a quick favor. It may seem silly, but I promise you it will help. Stand up and shake out your body for a good 10 seconds. No, seriously- do it! I'll wait . . .

Mama, that's a LOT to carry and I know how you feel because I've been there too. I felt like I couldn't keep up and that I was constantly spinning my wheels. I wasn't feeling confident in any area of my life and things just felt scattered and unorganized. I'm not a huge structure based person and I don't necessarily like operating under a strict schedule. I like having some structure, but I just don't want it too rigid, ya know? I'm a pretty go with the flow type of person and I thrive on spontaneity, but I soon came to find that operating my life this way was no longer serving me.

I started talking to my therapist about this and she helped me to create a weekly system that has really changed my life and that's probably what brought you to this post in the first place. I've talked about this a little on social media, but now that I've lived in it for a few weeks and have seen the fruits from it, I'm ready to shout it from the rooftops!

The Concept of the Overall Routine

Okay, so bottom line: I just needed a little bit more structure to help my life move forward. I needed to know that there was a set day in the week where I wouldn't be wearing leggings and I could get fully ready- make up and all. I needed to know that there was a set time for certain chores to get done because a never ending list is overwhelming and leaves me stagnant. I needed to know that I would have chunks of time where I could be intentionally spending time with my kids without feeling the pressure to perform in other areas of my life.

This weekly routine provides me with all of that and so more! Basically, I take my week and I gave each day a "theme" and that theme helps me to organize all of the tasks and allows my life to become more digestible.

Think of it this way- when you pile a bunch of food on a toddler's plate, they become very overwhelmed and often don't know where to start which can lead to them just denying the food all together. But, on the flip side, if you segregate the food into small sections and provide smaller portions, it provides a more inviting and digestible experience.

Our life is the same way.

Think of all the things you have to do- work, play, clean, order, buy, organize, etc. It's all dumped on your plate and you're left feeling hungry and overwhelmed because you don't know where to start.

Think of this routine as one of this kid's plates with the different sections. Every day has a "theme" and every day is a section of the plate. We're going to take your week and break it up into smaller parts that are easier to consume. Instead of tackling so much and feeling worn out or not tackling enough and feeling inadequate, we're going to work together to help you to take smaller bites and feel overall satisfied.

Weekly Routine Breakdown

When you're thinking about the "themes" for each day, I want you to be realistic and think about what you need to do to help give yourself some relief and structure. Start with a dreaming mindset- "what do I really want my week to look like?" and then take it down to a more logistical mindset- "so how do I make this happen?" Obviously, some of this may require some conversation with your spouse so keep that in mind and make sure you're including them on this plan too. If anything, they'll be able to help, encourage, and hold you accountable so that you can stick to it.

Personal Example: I really wanted and needed to incorporate a consistent work day. This meant that Alex (my husband) and I needed to work together to find childcare or implement another system in order to make that happen.

I encourage you to find a calendar or planner and start planning this out ahead of time. Personally, I like to sit down on Saturday or Sunday and plan out the daily themes for the following week. My daily themes aren't always the same every single week and I, personally, really enjoy the flexibility; however, the structure of having themed days provides me with the stability that I was desperately needing.

Remember, you get to make this whatever you want it to be! Don't get so caught up in the logistical side of this that you forget what it's intended to do- provide you relief. If you're stumped on where to start, here are a few examples of "Daily Themes." Don't think of this as a go-to for pick and choose, but instead- let this spark a creative thought for how you can theme your days to create a system that works for you.

Examples of Daily Themes:

• Work Day

• Home Day

• Community Day

• Sabbath Day

• Errands Day

• Cleaning Day

• Play Day

• Adventure Day

• Family Day

• Church Day

• Free Day

• Learning Day

• Nature Day

Rules and Boundaries

When you're thinking about your "Daily Themes" and organizing them throughout your week, I encourage you to consider setting some rules or boundaries for some or all of the days. Don't think of these in a super serious or logistical way, but instead, think of it as a boundary you're setting so that you can set yourself up for success. I will include an example of my weekly routine and break down my "Daily Themes" with an added rule that I have in place so that you can see what this looks like in real time.

But in case you needed a few examples of rules or boundaries, here are a few to consider.

Examples of Rules or Boundaries:

• Limiting Phone Time

• No Cleaning

• Must Leave the House

• No Work Today

• Play is a Must

• Must Have Childcare

• No Negativity

My Weekly Routine

Okay, so now that I've kind of introduced you to the whole idea of a "Weekly Routine" and showed you a few important aspects to help you make it successful, let's talk about what it looks like to implement something like this in real life!

Here's an example of my "Weekly Routine," but keep in mind that my Daily Themes don't stay the same every week and often change depending on what we have going on.

Sunday- Sabbath (Rest Day)

This is the day we choose to prioritize our family and rest. We go to church and then spend the day doing things that bring us joy. We play, read, nap, and go for family walks. We work to spend time in the Word whether it's together as a family or individually and we always end with family movie night.

Rules: No cleaning, no home projects, limited phone time, and rest is mandatory.

Benefit: I know that I will have a day where I don't have to do anything. I get to rest with my family and Jesus. I've really started to look forward to those afternoon Sabbath naps!

Monday- Home Day

Time to catch up on laundry, dishes, home projects, cleaning etc. I work to have us at home for the whole day so that we can enjoy our home and take care of it at the same time. We usually try for this day to fall directly after our Sabbath. This allows us to be fully present in our Sabbath, knowing that the cleaning will get done the following day.

Rules: No phone until 9am, get up and get going to create motivation for the day, limited phone time, and work to get caught up on tasks.

Benefit: I know that I'll have a day at home where I don't have to be "ready" and I can lounge in my leggings with no make up while getting some things done and feeling productive.

Tuesday- Adventure Day

The kids and I are getting out of the house and we're going on an adventure! This feeds into my spontaneity and helps me know that I'll have a day for us to enjoy nature or to go out and have a lot of fun. Even though it's a day of spontaneity, I try to have a few ideas lined up at the start of the week. I'll pick what we do the night before or even the day of and then we roll with it. Adventure Day for us is a drive to the mountains, day trip to the beach, the zoo, a children's museum, or a train ride!

Rules: Get out of the house! No work and all play!

Benefit: I know that I'll have a day where I'm leaving the house and doing something FUN! I may be getting ready (depending on the adventure) or I may not- but this is fun and intentional time with the kids!

Wednesday- Work Day

This is a whole day dedicated to my work and it's so special. I usually post up at my home office or at a coffee shop with a friend. I also like to schedule some of my other appointments on this day like a morning facial or haircut because it helps break up the day for me. I'm working to have a plan in place ahead of time so that I already know what I'm going to do for my work day. Making sure that I have a list of things to do on my workday helps me to feel motivated for the day ahead and prevents wasted time trying to figure out what needs to be done in my business.

Rules: I have to have uninterrupted work time which means childcare is a must. Also, I must work!

Benefit: This gives me confidence and freedom in other parts of my week because I know that I have dedicated time to get my work done. I also know that I'll have a day where I am getting dressed in real clothes other than leggings!

Thursday- Community and Home Day

Community day is a great way for me to make sure that the kids and I are both spending time with other people throughout our week. Community day can look like attending a Bible Study, hosting a play date, meeting for coffee with another mom and her kids, etc. I usually spend the first half of my day in community with others and the second part of my day is spent at home doing laundry, dishes, cleaning, and home projects. We usually try to have one weekly lunch where we meet Alex and that typically falls on this day as well.

Rules: I have to spend time with other people that lift me up and encourage me. The afternoon should be productive, so I try to limit distractions.

Benefit: I know that I'll have a section of my week where I'll be able to engage with my friends and provide community for my kids. This is usually a day where I get fully ready and dressed in clothes other than leggings. It's nice to know that I'll have a day where I can do that instead of just always resorting back to leggings and an oversized shirt.

Friday- Work and Family Day

My husband has half days on Fridays which is really nice and we take full advantage of that extra time that we can be together. In the morning, I have time to do work - whether its in my home office or at a coffee shop. Then we come back together for the second half of our day and we have family time. We'll meet for lunch and try to plan something fun for the evening like bowling, playtime at the park, dinner with friends or family, etc.

Rules: I have to work in the morning and if I need extra time in the afternoon, that's okay. It's the start of the weekend which means let's have FUN!

Benefit: I love having an extra chunk of work time to end my week because it helps me to know that if things didn't get done earlier in the week, I have another chance to get it done before the weekend.

Saturday- Prep Day and Whatever Else

This would be the day before our Sabbath so this means that we need to prep to allow ourselves to rest. We're tidying the house, grocery shopping, doing the meal planning and prep, planning out the next week, and making sure that we are set up for success on our Sabbath. Think of things like: making sure the dishwasher is empty at the end of the day so that you don't have to unload the dishwasher on your Sabbath- stuff like that. Maybe we have a birthday party or special event that we want to attend. Weekends are usually full so this helps us pick and choose what activities we want to do.

Rules: We HAVE to prep for Sabbath. We can do whatever we want to do, but we have to make sure that our Sabbath is prioritized and honored.

Benefit: Planning ahead for our Sabbath helps us to better enjoy it while being more present instead of thinking about all of the things we have to do.

FAQ

What about homeschool for your boys? When does that happen?

Learning and homeschooling goes beyond our home and activities at a table. We're always learning no matter where we are, but the calendar and home based learning is done throughout little pockets of our day. Sometimes it's first thing in the morning, sometimes it's right after nap, and sometimes it's in the evening. I'm a big believer on learning through play so learning happens when we're doing a puzzle, coloring a picture, or working with play dough.

Okay, but HOW do you actually get the housework done? There are so many things to do!

Yep! You're so right and I struggled with this for a long time. I have a resource that I want to share with you and I think it's going to change your life. It's called The Home Planner and it's brought to you by The Passionate Penny Pincher. Every day, you are "assigned" a few manageable home tasks. For instance, Monday is a day where you dust and clean the floors. Thursday is a day where you change all of the sheets on the beds, etc. It takes all of your home tasks (even spring cleaning and overall organization tasks) and breaks them down into more digestible bits. This is a fascinating tool and I really encourage you to check it out.

Find it HERE.

How do I get started?

The hardest part is committing and just starting. I'll be upfront with you- you HAVE to prioritize this if you want to make it work. You HAVE to be intentional and plan out the time to prep to make this happen. Don't be so strict that you don't allow yourself any wiggle room or time for friends if it's a "home day." The point is to create a fluid system that HELPS you, not one that stresses you out. Don't create this system and and to live by it strictly. Instead, create this system to guide you through your week so that you have protected pockets of time where you can clean, work, spend time with your kids, and rest.

Okay, whewwww! That was a lot and double gold stars to you if you're still reading all of this! Triple gold stars to those that are running to grab their journals so they can start implementing these ideas right away.

I hope this post blesses you and brings you a newfound peace. I'll continue talking about this on social media and please never hesitate to reach out if you have questions or topic ideas for my next blog post revolving around this concept.

Until next time, GO SHINE YOUR LIGHT!

SB