Age Appropriate Tasks Kids Can Do Every Day

When I first became a mom, I really struggled with the balance of spending time with my kids and getting the housework done. I felt guilty if I wasn't spending time with them during their wake time and it really started to weigh on me. I finally realized that something had to change when our first son, Aspen would only take 39 minute naps. Yes- 39 minutes on the dot.

You can't get a whole lot done in 39 minutes and every day, I was faced with the struggle of what am I going to try to cram into nap time? But did you catch what I just said there?

"Cram."

That word just sounds exhausting and that's really how I was feeling. Utterly and truly, exhausted. So over time, I started to realize that I couldn't just get everything done during their nap time or after the kids went to bed. That was not a sustainable system for me, but more importantly, I was depriving my kids of something important without even realizing it.

I was depriving them of the opportunity to see what it takes to keep a functioning home.

Then it all just started to click and fall into place for me. If they never saw me model what it looked like to clean our home and take care of our things, how would they know how to do that for themselves or their own things?

This realization changed everything for me and I began allowing myself to do certain chores with them around. Things like unloading/loading the dishwasher, folding laundry, working in their yard, and so on. I was shocked to find that implementing this new routine was so freeing for me. Not only was I getting more things done around the house, but they were learning how to have independent play - which is HUGE!

But then, I started to notice something even cooler- they would come over and ask what I was doing and offer to help. The teacher spirit in me SOARED (and still does) whenever this happened and I would take full advantage of the opportunity to teach them something new. Eventually, this blossomed into a lifestyle where our kids have age appropriate tasks that they complete (almost) every day.

If you are encouraged and inspired by this, then I'll give you some tips at the end on how to get this flow going in your house.

We currently have an almost two and almost four year old, so I'll break their tasks down by age.

Two Year Old Tasks (we started introducing and encouraging these tasks around 18 months)

• Pulling pants up and pushing pants down when getting changed

• Taking trash to the trash can

• Having a turn to brush teeth after we've already done it

• Picking out clothes (only offer two options, any more and it is overwhelming)

• Taking dishes to the sink (usually one of us is there to take it since he can't reach the counter)

• Putting shoes on shoe mat after taking them off and getting them when it's time to put them on

• Cleaning up after playtime (one small section at a time, sometimes with assistance)

• Taking dirty clothes to the hamper

• Serving another member of the family (taking a cup of water or snack to his older brother, etc.)

• Walking to chair for meal times

• Washing hands before or after a meal (with assistance)

• Brushes his own hair (it's okay if it's not perfect, he's learning)

• Wipes hands and face with napkin after mealtime (we always follow up with a "hand check" to make sure they aren't sticky or covered in food)

• Picking out a book from the book basket before bed

• Helping to unload the dishwasher

• Helping with laundry (putting clothes in washer or dryer and pressing buttons)

• Helps with clean up of mess or spill

Four Year Old Tasks (we introduce new tasks whenever he shows signs he's ready for more)

• All of the same tasks listed above

• Gets snack during snack time

• Picks out clothes and gets himself dressed for the day or for bedtime

• Starting to make his bed in the morning

• Turns off TV when show is over

• Sets table with napkins and silverware

• Cleans up own messes and spills

• Washes himself in the bath or shower

• Takes plate of food to the table for mealtimes

• Climbs into carseat and does top buckle (we secure the bottom buckle and re-check the top)

Okay, so why am I sharing this?

Because I freaking love to help other parents. I've spent a lot of time with kids through babysitting, internships, student teaching, being an educator, etc. and one thing that I'm always surprised by is the fact that kids really can do so much more than we give them credit for. They don't need a bunch of toys for play because their every day life is play. Cooking, baking, or helping with laundry can be just as fun for them as stacking blocks or playing with magnatiles.

What does this look like in real life?

It looks like broken plates, flour on the floor, race cars on the kitchen counter, five minutes of watching your toddler struggle to get their shoe on, and big smiles from your babies when they feel accomplished for learning something new. Is the task going to take a little longer when they're involved? Maybe. Is your patience going to be tested during the task? Probably. But let me give us all the heart check we need- why are we in such a rush? What bothers us about this taking a little longer or why do we feel uncomfortable when they're struggling with something?

Let me release you from this real quick: it's okay if your child is struggling to do something. Let me take it a step further and say that it's okay if you don't help out right away, in fact- it's encouraged! Let your child struggle through putting their shoe on. Let them struggle to unzip their jacket. This is how they learn!

A big sentence that I use in times like this is: "Do you want help or do you want to figure it out on your own?"

Nine times out of ten, my (almost) four year old will tell me that he wants to figure it out on his own. Sometimes he will ask for help right away, but it's rare. Asking this question allows me the freedom to not feel like I have "fix it" because he's stated that he wants to do it on his own. Then I always follow it up with, "Okay, I'm here if you need help." Sometimes he plows through and gets it done on his own and sometimes, he really struggles with and asks for help. That's when I step in and guide him through the tough part of the task.

It also looks like defiance and a lot of "NO!" Please don't be mistaken- they don't do all of these tasks perfectly and willingly every single day. Sometimes it's met with whining, crying, tantrums, and "no." There's a lot of techniques that I use in those moments, but I don't dismiss it.

Here are some techniques that may be helpful:

• Sing a song or put on fun music

• Make it fun ("the kitchen table is lava, save your plate and take it to the sink!")

• Have a race ("I bet I can't get my shoes on as fast as you!"

• Have them teach YOU ("I forgot how to clean up our blocks, can you show me where they go?"

Help me get this going in my house!

So, don't go crazy now after reading this. If your child has a few daily tasks, don't dump 10 new ones on them tomorrow. Instead try this:

1. Implement their new task and make it exciting! "We're starting something new today! I need your help to get these wet clothes into the dryer. Your strong arms are perfect for the job, let's do this together." (PS: moving clothes like this is really good for their coordination and for building strength.)

2. Model for them what the new task is and encourage them to help. Refrain from saying "do you want a turn?" because this verbiage insinuates that there is an option for them to choose.

3. Consistency is KEY! If you're not consistent with it, then they won't be either. It's confusing if they only do it sometimes so stick with it and stay consistent.

4. Be patient. Learning takes time and they're not going to get it on the first try. Use the sentence I stated above about offering help and continue to guide them through the task instead of just doing it when they show signs of struggle.

5. When they've got the hang of it, move on! Give your child a full week (at least) with their new task before attempting to implement another one. When you feel that they've mastered or gotten the hang of it, start working to implement another one.

Remember to start at a place that feels organic for your family. Look at your life and consider a few daily tasks that you think your child could handle and heck, I even want to encourage you to try a task that you feel might be "too hard for them" like taking their dishes to the sink, etc. they may surprise you! Above all else, meet your child where they are because you know your kiddo best.

If you feel inspired by this and want to start, please send me a DM on Instagram so that I can encourage you and be there for you during this process. I'd love to hear how things go for you and I hope you know that I am cheering you on every step of the way!

Until next time, GO SHINE YOUR LIGHT!

SB